Wishing everyone a belated happy holidays! Happy New Year, merry Christmas, and whatever you're celebrating this winter, I wish you the best!
You guys have been supportive of me and my work from day one and no amount of words can adequately express my gratitude. Whenever I need a reminder I can just look back at my thousands of comments and see the love and appreciation you have. And that's something I can never get enough of. Your love makes all of this worthwhile, and honestly it's the only reward I need for my art.
And lately I've had my fair share of struggles. Although I have found myself a fantastic new job working with some fantastic people, this new job requires a lot more hours. It's not unusual for me to be working 45-55 hours a week, and that leaves me very exhausted with little motivation to draw. So my art gets shifted to the weekends, where again I have a heck of a time finding the willpower to pick up my pen and get working. I just . . . constantly feel exhausted and I feel like I'm letting you guys down.
I have so many ideas and so many things I want to draw and do, but no energy to do any of it. And a lot of it, I think, has to do with the fact that I may be struggling with some serious depression/anxiety issues. There are many days where the tiniest of mess-ups can send me into a horrible spiral of depression where I am nearly bursting into tears. There are days where a smile takes all of my energy and even the thought of picking up my pen makes me exhausted. There are days where I just don't want to live and wonder why I should even bother living. I have NEVER acted on any of these thoughts, but these horribly intrusive and depressing thoughts keep cycling through my head to the point where even I in all my stupid stubbornness realize maybe these aren't normal thoughts to have. It's gotten to the point where I've seriously thought about going to the doctor and discussing it.
I'm not trying to make excuses. I guess I think that ranting about my personal life to strangers on the internet might make me feel better. I don't know, but at the very least I feel like you guys deserve to know what's going on.
But whatever happens, know that I appreciate every single comment, ave, and watch from all of you, and I wish you guys the very very best!